LEBANONESQUE

Impressions, views, and steam-blowing by a lonesome cowboy.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

“Very Important Doc”, More Hot Air



Lebanon keeps stretching the laws of modern physics. Just when you thought our political gasbags had run out of hot air, there’s more.

“Very Important Document” by March 14. (Naharnet)

Wow! Not just “important” but “very”, I can’t wait. M14, amorphous leaderless and rudderless blob of inertia and inaction, our “nation turns its lonely eyes to you”, wuwuwu, koo koo ka choo Mrs. Robinson…

The pro-government March 14 coalition was expected to announce a "very important political document"
You mean more important than the ignored Taef/Taif constitution? Or more important than the already-dead-before-arrival electoral law exquisitely crafted by ignored statesman Fuad Boutros and other useless intellectuals and luminaries?

Aren’t such “documents” usually put out by opposition forces in order to explain how they would govern, should they come to power? And not by governmental majorities supposed to use the levers of state?

Napoleon once said to his dithering generals: “If you set out to take Vienna, take Vienna”. The Saniora/Siniora-M14 version is: Never set out to take Vienna, but if you do, blabber, blabber, blabber some more, write a document way late in the game, and give an interview to a Saudi newspaper.

The document in question will:
lay out the alliance's strategy at all levels.
Great, it’s good they’re thinking “strategy” finally, but pray tell why would M14 be able to IMPLEMENT any baloney in said document when it has allowed itself to be paralyzed “at all levels” for over 2 years now?

Press reports Sunday said March 14 will lay out Lebanon's position on a range of internal, regional and international issues, particularly on Christian-Muslim coexistence.
Now my idiot Lebanese representatives are going to have an opinion on regional and international issues? Memo to M14 and M8 and Patriarch Sfeir: regional and international actors have been running your politics and your private lives with nary a peep from any of you failures.

In other words, NO ONE listens to you on internal matters. Now you will express your opinions on regional and international matters? No one cares, though I am guessing that M14 will reiterate their proud support for the “sacred” frigging cause that’s destroyed the country and is the rationalization for Hezbollah’s weapons. M14 will also likely argue that "we" want good relations with all, even with those killing us.

And of course everyone’s favorite part has got to be the “Christian-Muslim coexistence” bit. Let’s take a wild guess. Might the very-important-but-ridiculous document come out in favor of brotherly co-existence? Might “coexistence” be the essence of Lebanon, and might our stupid, very stupid, country be held as a beacon and an example for the rest on the world? The suspense is killing me.

Last question: what the hell can M14 possibly say about religious coexistence that has not been said in the previous 568 such documents put out over the years by bishops, sheiks, shamans, gurus and every other half-wit journalist and pseudo-thinker?

Putting out documents and setting up commissions is what the lame do when they can’t, or won’t, ACT (see previous post).

Yeah, I know the "document" is not out yet but if there is anything new, or of substance in it, i.e. a hint of ACTION, I'll defrost the old humble pie and eat it.

9 Comments:

  • At 3/10/08, 1:09 PM, Anonymous Bad Vilbel said…

    Did you already forget that brilliant moment where PM Saniora informed the world that Lebanon would serve as an example on how to solve international and regional problems?

    Man, I'm laughing so hard....

    Not a day goes by that I am not glad I left that godforsaken piece of land.

     
  • At 3/10/08, 1:18 PM, Blogger JoseyWales said…

    Not a day goes by that I am not glad I left that godforsaken piece of land.

    Same here. Praise the Lord!

     
  • At 3/10/08, 2:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Come on guys! I left also... All of us did, are or will... But I still have not found a substitute for summers and holidays in that "godforsaken piece of land". I'll be happy with one side taking over and sending the other one packing. JUST END IT! But it seems like the stalemate is here to stay and in the interim keeping the airport opened, banks afloat, and a mini militia war at bay is major kuddos to our comatose government.

     
  • At 3/10/08, 6:56 PM, Anonymous Bad Vilbel said…

    I haven't spent a summer or a holiday back in Lebanon in over 15 years now. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss it. I'd love to go for a vacation and enjoy friends/food/etc. But really...

     
  • At 3/10/08, 11:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We all miss very much, that's why we go bersek when the "hot air buffoons" open their mouths and do nothing.
    On the bright side, if you're stuck in a balloon and you're going down, those are the guys to be around - just ask for a "very important doc" and the hot air will make it fly again for lot's of miles....

     
  • At 3/11/08, 9:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey Bad vilbel, is this where you are actually located or u picked up the name "just because"... If you reside in that gorgeous place no wonder you haven't been back... As for us, East ugly coast US residents, we don't have much of a view except for steel, grey water, and bad weather and traffic... Sorry for the digression JW, forget this was a political forum...

     
  • At 3/11/08, 12:21 PM, Anonymous Bad Vilbel said…

    No. I am located in California. The name is "just because".

     
  • At 3/12/08, 7:07 AM, Blogger Marillionlb said…

    From what I heard the surprise will come on the 14th of this month, when all those cowards in M14 will announce the creation of the M14 TAYYAR (this is no joke) and become one Tayyar (still filled with cowards)and not different parties. On a more pessimistic note I have heard of shelters being built in preparation for trouble.
    B.V I too left the country for 16 years, but finally came back (snif snif snif).

     
  • At 3/12/08, 6:24 PM, Anonymous Bad Vilbel said…

    Marillionb:

    http://www.seomoz.org/images/upload/simpsons_nelson_haha2.jpg

     

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