LEBANONESQUE

Impressions, views, and steam-blowing by a lonesome cowboy.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

It’s Simple Really



But you have to have a modicum of will. Remember this from my previous post?

11:30 Berri's interview ends amid heavy gunfire (Monday March 24, Naharnet)

It turns out that stray bullets hit three people in the aftermath. Two were hit in the Cite Sportive area and one woman in Achrafieh was more seriously injured and almost died according to L’Orient-LeJour (link good one day). Now Lebanon also has the story.

Sonia Saade (or Eid according to Now Lebanon), a 50-year old woman, had her lung; liver, diaphragm and a membrane near the heart perforated by one bullet and had to be operated on immediately. She is in critical condition.

Here are the reaction as quoted in L’Orient. [The criminal thugs were Berri's this time, but recently Nasrallah’s and Hariri’s were doing same), my translation:

The FL (Lebanese Forces) ask Berri to restrain his militiamen and demand that Berri apologize to “targeted” citizens and to victims.

After that, thankfully they ask the army and the police to arrest these people. That’s a first. The rest of the FL statement is a diatribe against Syria and its lackeys that weakens the simple argument that these firings in the air are criminal and intolerable. They need to be stopped yesterday, regardless of Syria’s involvement.

MP Boutros Harb asks politicians to restrain their partisans. He barely mentions that the practice is illegal.

Finally Ulama Hussein Fadlallah urges leaders to take their responsibilities and to ban these practices.

OK, so reactions are mostly focused on asking the head-thug to ban the practice with a couple of background call for the law to assert itself. These acts are already ILLEGAL and CRIMINAL. What do we care what the bosses of these animals think or do?

Notice the absence of any governmental voice.

Notice that these calls/pleas have gone out before and that the practice continues.

Simple questions:

Where are the government, police and army?

Where are the unanimous calls to arrest these thugs?

Where are the calls to STOP pleading with the leaders, who clearly can’t or won’t do anything?

Where are the clear and unanimous editorials in the press?

Deploring is fine but how about pressure on ACTUAL SPECIFIC people in the government and police to ACT on a matter that has to be totally BIPARTISAN and needs no further discussion?


PS Of course, there was also this video of one of the animals, a few days back.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

"Live" from Beirut: Idiot Press on Idiot Berri


Speaker Nabih Berri gives an interview (to ?), and says absolutely nothing. But, hey, the interview coverage is “live” (?). Have we run out of watch-the-paint-dry episodes? Have we exhausted all paint colors?

[NOTE: The "live" format of the story is not on the Naharnet home page anymore. The interview is now a regular story, which I linked above. The story is somewhat different from the original headings listed here below. These, as quoted below, were up on March 23, 2008]

Next, the geniuses at Naharnet time-stamp the inane, useless, heard-10-times-before idiocies uttered by, one-time Speaker, current clownster Isteeez Nabih Berri.

We get:

11:18 Berri accused the majority of blocking the agreement on the three tens formula and said he was ready to secure the quorom [sic] and elect a president if the majority accepted this formula but they rejected it
This story died 2 or three times about a month ago. Yeah, Berri said it at 11:18 and it’s “live” baby! More like your coverage Naharnet is dead, and your reporter and Nabih Berri are both brain frigging dead.

Now to uphold the Lebanese tradition of not making sense, and of regressing, the interview clock runs in reverse. So:

11:15 Berri said he would call for relaunching the dialogue over the elections' law after the Arab Summit
Tozzz! I call for dialogue now and I’ll gladly bet Berri’s vast ill-gotten fortune that said dialogue will yield absolutely NOTHING tangible or applicable (and hypocrite Berri knows it).

11:14The Majority and the opposition agreed on the three tens formula concerning the cabinet formation, Berri affirmed
This contradicts what Berri said at 11:18 but who cares? Certainly not the interviewer, and in politics 4 minutes is an eternity.

11:11 I will hold direct contacts with KSA, Syria and Egypt after the Arab Summit which is not sacred and can be abandoned if it proved to be a failure, Berri revealed
The Arab summit is NOT sacred? Good to know, I guess only Bashar and the Baath are sacred. And you actually mean we can abandon the summit if it’s a failure? Thank God for that, because you Nabih are a failure and we can’t abandon you, it seems. And so is the Moussa-Arab League initiative and we can’t abandon that either.

11:09 Berri said he won't propose a new solution or initiative after the Arab Summit
Thanks Nabih. I really, really, mean it. Please don’t propose ANYTHING anymore, you and the rest of the cretinous political class.

11:05 Syrians and Saudis have a certain influence in Lebanon and they can help solve the current political crisis, Berri said
Again, DON'T do it. And could we, at some point, ask the simple questions:

How is it that we need to talk to all these foreign countries to solve internal matters Mr. Speaker? And by what mysterious mechanism do the wishes of foreign countries affect the decisions of MPs in your joke of a parliament?

10:51 U.N official Terje Rod [sic] Larson works towards holding an international conference over the implementation of SCR 1559 which leads to Lebanon's destruction
It’s all relative Nabih. If 1559 leads to the destruction of YOUR sick concept of Lebanon, then I’m all for it.

10:44 Israel is preparing itself through military maneuvers to avenge its defeat in 2006 war, Berri added
Stop the presses; again, thank God the coverage is “live".

10:41 The real perpetrators of the assassination of Army General Francois el-Hajj are known, Berri said
Just like that. Am I the only one here sensing some kind of follow-up question? What the $%%6$3##3 hell is the job of our moronic press corps?

10:40 Berri confirmed war would not erupt in Lebanon
Something lost in translation here. “Confirmed”? Berri who can’t do his simple job of holding an election with only 128 people is now “confirming” future regional developments?

And if you know there will be no war, why are you yelling and screaming, daily, about M14/US/Israel prepping for war? And why is your master-puppeteer Bashar massing troops on his border with Lebanon?

__________________________________________________

UPDATE:

11:30 Berri's interview ends amid heavy gunfire

11:27 Berri says this TV interview would be his last to avoid the heavy gunfire which takes place always before and after his televised interviews
Thank you shooters. Maybe, now, the son of a thousand bitches will keep his trap shut for a little while.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Gov that Wouldn't: The VIDEO


Re my "Gvmnt that could't/would'nt" post, I want to thank Blacksmith Jade for linking to me, and for posting the video of the (presumed Amal/Berri) creep shooting his RPG in the middle of the street.

In my post on the subject I assumed, probably rashly, that my readers had seen the video and knew that my line about "being on youtube" was real and not a joke. (In Lebanon, the line between reality and jokes disappeared a long time ago).

I am also not very adept at linking vids and the like. Anyway, Blacksmiths have the video link, and we can fairly presume that the guy is still loose while the army, the police, and the judiciary are all asleep at the switch.

All the while, our stupid press is focused on the irrelevant: Arab summit, 1960 law, who replaces Suleiman as army cheief when he's elected? (I can't even believe this last one).

Correct me if I am wrong, but is there any ONE newspaper, or TV station that put up this thug's picture and editorialized like the Blacksmiths: "Arrest that man!"?

Sunday, March 09, 2008

“Very Important Doc”, More Hot Air



Lebanon keeps stretching the laws of modern physics. Just when you thought our political gasbags had run out of hot air, there’s more.

“Very Important Document” by March 14. (Naharnet)

Wow! Not just “important” but “very”, I can’t wait. M14, amorphous leaderless and rudderless blob of inertia and inaction, our “nation turns its lonely eyes to you”, wuwuwu, koo koo ka choo Mrs. Robinson…

The pro-government March 14 coalition was expected to announce a "very important political document"
You mean more important than the ignored Taef/Taif constitution? Or more important than the already-dead-before-arrival electoral law exquisitely crafted by ignored statesman Fuad Boutros and other useless intellectuals and luminaries?

Aren’t such “documents” usually put out by opposition forces in order to explain how they would govern, should they come to power? And not by governmental majorities supposed to use the levers of state?

Napoleon once said to his dithering generals: “If you set out to take Vienna, take Vienna”. The Saniora/Siniora-M14 version is: Never set out to take Vienna, but if you do, blabber, blabber, blabber some more, write a document way late in the game, and give an interview to a Saudi newspaper.

The document in question will:
lay out the alliance's strategy at all levels.
Great, it’s good they’re thinking “strategy” finally, but pray tell why would M14 be able to IMPLEMENT any baloney in said document when it has allowed itself to be paralyzed “at all levels” for over 2 years now?

Press reports Sunday said March 14 will lay out Lebanon's position on a range of internal, regional and international issues, particularly on Christian-Muslim coexistence.
Now my idiot Lebanese representatives are going to have an opinion on regional and international issues? Memo to M14 and M8 and Patriarch Sfeir: regional and international actors have been running your politics and your private lives with nary a peep from any of you failures.

In other words, NO ONE listens to you on internal matters. Now you will express your opinions on regional and international matters? No one cares, though I am guessing that M14 will reiterate their proud support for the “sacred” frigging cause that’s destroyed the country and is the rationalization for Hezbollah’s weapons. M14 will also likely argue that "we" want good relations with all, even with those killing us.

And of course everyone’s favorite part has got to be the “Christian-Muslim coexistence” bit. Let’s take a wild guess. Might the very-important-but-ridiculous document come out in favor of brotherly co-existence? Might “coexistence” be the essence of Lebanon, and might our stupid, very stupid, country be held as a beacon and an example for the rest on the world? The suspense is killing me.

Last question: what the hell can M14 possibly say about religious coexistence that has not been said in the previous 568 such documents put out over the years by bishops, sheiks, shamans, gurus and every other half-wit journalist and pseudo-thinker?

Putting out documents and setting up commissions is what the lame do when they can’t, or won’t, ACT (see previous post).

Yeah, I know the "document" is not out yet but if there is anything new, or of substance in it, i.e. a hint of ACTION, I'll defrost the old humble pie and eat it.

Monday, March 03, 2008

The Little Government That Couldn’t or Wouldn’t


While we wait for a government, any government, who would defend the nation, uphold the law, uncover murderers, prosecute treason, and protect the citizen, here is the latest (Naharnet):

Citizens Urged to Refrain from Opening Fire to Celebrate Politicians' TV Appearances


Who is saying this? The INTERIOR MINISTRY said:

[T]he shooting "causes panic and inflicts casualties as well as damage to both public and private property."

OMG what’s next? A report from the Surgeon General of the Banana Republic stating that shooting bullets through your own head can be harmful?

I am surprised we are missing their usual stupid addendum that the practice is bad because it harms (yallah, all together now): the Palestinian and Arab cause and only helps Israel.

Saying that firing guns and RPGs is against the law and “we will throw your sorry ass in jail” is, I guess, not an option. Hey, your vid will be on youtube and no one will bother you. [UPDATE: video there]

We are the land of peace-and-love where

The ministry called on politicians to "cooperate" in this respect by asking their supporters to abstain from opening fire.

Will you please, pretty please with sugar on top, abide by the law? Is it any wonder no one has any respect for the state and it laws?

This is a natural place to start to assert the authority of the law. Who in his right mind would object to cracking down on these thugs (or football fans firing guns)? And yet Saniora and his government are busy boycotting the Paris book fair (where Israel is being honored) and summoning the US attaché to ask deep questions like: what is the 6th fleet doing in the Mediterranean?

Bravo ya 7mar!